excuses and pitfalls

I know this is the 2nd blog of the day, but I am trying to get back into the groove of things, so this will be short, more like the beginning stuff... just humor me, kay?

I had an intriguing conversation with my mother. I don't discuss weight loss with her, because about the time I was hearing her complain about her issues with loosing her gallbladder, I decided that her views weren't completely 20/20, in that she was kidding herself about her diet.
(and if you're reading this mom, and are offended, I apologise)
She'd tell me that her diet was full of veggies and fish, all the while gobbing on cream cheese to a bagel. I will admit her diet didn't suck, but there were places she could trim the fat, as it were.

I digress.

We were chatting about weight loss and I heard a common excuse about walking. "I know my neighborhood, I have seen it often, walking it is boring, the same old things to look at". That one I could ignore. Not walking the neighborhood is an easy thing to excuse yourself out of. "It's too hot/cold/windy/wet/boring/full of hoodlums/etc." I said, I go to the gym because it's free (military benefit) and it gets me away from the baby and since I am out and away from my comfort zone it removes the excuses. You need to find a place you like to be, that's easy to get to, and easy to be at.

Some people have gym excuses too, I did in the beginning... "they're judging me". That's a big one. I almost fell for it. But I scoped out the gym at a couple of different times during the day. Yes, it's full of hard-bodied military men (*blush*), but it also has old retirees, and people working thru injuries, pregnant women, and please forgive my candidness... heifers struggling thru their workouts too. So I knew I wouldn't be the only heifer there sweating and making the people who work at the gym hang out by the aed machine "just in case". Knowing I wasn't alone made it easier to get it done. I find now, that I go when it's less populated (not liking to share my usual machines with others or even have competition to get on it), and it makes it much easier to focus, which I have to do, so I can push past my initial response to quit.

She did admit... "if I had someone to work out with me, to call me up and tell me to get off my ass and come walk with them..." but I cut her off. I had a friend, a wonderful motivated friend, my best friend actually. Perky, excited, motivated, insistant. I started to avoid her. Which inevitably anyone would do. You have to be self motivated. Truly truly want to do it. No one else can push, prod, tug, pull, ootch, harry or harrass you into wanting to get off your ass, unless you wanted to already.

She had another excuse that I hear a lot from her... "I have no time, I work". BAD BAD BAD BAD. I said to her, I told myself that I was no longer going to let a job, ANY job, make me compromise myself, my family or my health. EVER.

Too many years of letting bosses make me feel like they owned me made me not care anymore. Fire me, I could give a crap less. I don't NEED this job, there are others out there. What I NEED is to live to see my daughter graduate, get married, have babies. And working in a place that makes it impossible to find the time to eat right, exercise and care for myself in general, or makes me see my family less than I see vacation time, UNACCEPTABLE. Don't get me wrong, money is nice... but what fun is money when the people you love are mad at you and don't wanna be with you to spend it, or worse, you're too sick to enjoy it.

I know those words are easy to say coming from someone who doesn't have to work to support a family.

But take a minute and ask yourself, a) what's more important, and b) what are you willing to sacrifice to your job?

I am starting to fall into the job trap. This week has been a mess. Did I cook dinner tonight? Nope. Bad. Did I eat dinner at a good time? Nope. BAD. Did I get my insulin on time? Nope. BAD BAD BAD. Why??? I had to work. *smacks self on back of the hand*

So, goal this week... find a rhythm, make it work.

+240
B- yogurt and late too... back to making eggs tomorrow!

L- Yummy yummy, smoked turkey, spinach, mozzarella, red onion, Dijon mustard, a little sprinkle of Caesar vinaigrette in a sun dried tomato wrap. SO GOOD!! I can do better tho- more veggies tomorrow, like shredded carrot or cucumber.

D- good lunch gone to crap. #10. 10 piece chicken nugget and a reg. fry at 9pm!! Ate it all too- and 3 bites of my husband's 2nd burger (I wasn't as bad as SOMEONE at the table at least).

I get to work out tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it... YAY!!