SO nearly 3 weeks later...

I'm eating like a starving pig! And bad stuff too... so sue me! On monday I go back on the program (or at lease as close to it as I can manage).

My waist is back, my boobs are huge, everything is flatter, the swelling is totally gone. I have control over MOST of my body now (yay).

And here's the kicker... I started this pregnancy at 233, I have a goal of 220, I gained about 30 pounds during the pregnancy... I cant start working out till after my 6 week post pardom appt, and only easy stuff then (c-section= abdominal surgery, gotta start slow). And I weigh...

227!!!!!!!

Nothing happens fast in a c-section but the baby

(my apologies if this isnt formated into paragraphs and whatnot, I've spent an hour writing it only to try and post it 4 times and everytime it's getting un-formated by the blogging webspace, I'm assuming it's their issue not mine... but please try and read it just the same) Okay, so I looked back a ways, yep I've been ignoring this blog since January. Sorry... but I did warn you back in July, or whenever it was that I found out that I was pregnant, that I was going to be scarce. -WARNING; slightly graphic content possible ahead- I believe I said I had a cyst. It was discovered during the 2nd trimester, actually the 1st, but no one bothered telling me till the 2nd. Way to go military docs!! I got referred to a specialist to watch it, and over 3 visits there was no change. It was mid line (so they couldn't identify exactly what it was attached to), 7 cm's, non-cancerous looking, and leisioned to the back of my uterus blocking the cervix. The specialist recommended a c-section in order to avoid the baby's head trying to go down the birth canal and risk rupture, as well as pulling the cyst at the same time I was open. The military doc's were skeptical, and gave me 2nd opinions that said "well, I've never heard of this being a problem" so I went with a vaginal recommendation, suggested an induction for better control, with the understanding that a c-section was still possible. About 3 weeks to go, I had begun to bravely do self-checks for dilation. Gross, I know, but you know what they said about curiosity and Kats. Needless to say, I was seeing no action. And somewhere between 3 to go and 2 to go, I was very leaky, but I couldn't tell if it was bladder or amniotic. When I saw the doc for my checkup I mentioned the issue, and he checked me. It felt like he went elbow deep to find my cervix, most uncomfortable feeling EVER. He never said anything beyond, "you're not dilated and not leaking amniotic fluid". But I got a call at end of business from the head of the department (and my usual doc) to let me know what the 1st doc didn't bother telling me when I was face to face with him... the baby's station had not changed. She wasn't descending. Which, under normal circumstances was not a big deal. He observed that the cyst was severely tilting my uterus and therefore he felt that she was not going to descend into the birth canal at all (hello, that's what the specialist said might happen, but whatever, how would he know what he was talking about, it's not like he was a SPECIALIST or anything... oh, wait...). So a c-section is was going to be. Firstly, I want to admit to you, that I was staying at 15 pounds gained until about 1 month to go, then I ballooned to 30 pounds gained. I am so ashamed of my lack of self-control, and I am unapologetically hiding behind the excuse "shut the hell up, i'm pregnant!" It was a rough time at the end, and YES! I did hide in food comforts, I also went along the convenience food route a lot, just because it was difficult and exhausting to stand and cook, prep, etc. And no, my husband doesn't cook. On the 4th of April, 2011, my beautiful baby girl was born at 8:23 am. She was... gulp, 9pounds!! My first born was only 7lb 4oz. Yes diabetes was a factor in her weight. I got to see the cyst (twisted, I know). It looked like a pink, softball sized water balloon, with a BIG blue vein. Much bigger than we all thought, more like 10 cm's. However baby and all made it more compacted when we were looking at it. All in all I'd assume it was likely 1 pound alone. And in the end it was my right ovary that developed it. I've lost most of the right ovary, not totally gone, but basically defunct, it could still possibly ovulate, maybe... but don't count on it. Nothing happens fast in a c-section but the baby; why do I say this?! In a vaginal birth, specifically my 1st born, it's a day of labor, with me 15 hours to be precise. Some women may not be as lucky, but still, in the grand scheme of things, it's a day or two (rarely three) of labor. The next day you are up and walking around with such a great change of body mass and weight that you cant even find your center of balance. But you are up and looking closer to yourself than you ever did since 9months before (hell I was looking even better, pre-marrage weight!). In a c-section, specifically my 2nd born, it's 1 or 2 hours on the outside; of being in an operating room, anaesthesia, and snip, snip, whoosh, waaaa, baby. Then sew, sew, sew, recovery room for most, mine was a little more unnerving, sew, sew, sew, cauterise, burn, "what the hell is that smell?", sew, recovery. I HAD to walk that day, they hoped I would pee in the 1st 24 hours, and poo the 1st 48 hours. My body barely changed, and I was so swollen from the chest down it was unnerving. After my 1st born I lost 36 pounds immediately, and I mean, PUSH, baby, placenta, -36 pounds. After my 2nd born I lost 0 pounds immediately, and I mean -9lbs baby, -1lbs cyst, -6lbs placenta, -15lbs fluid... NO CHANGE AT ALL. They must've pumped me FULL of liquid or something, cuz seriously, there's no way from the Thurs. before, that I could have gained the 21 pounds I didn't loose at birth, over the weekend! Thank goodness for the food poisoning or 24 hour bug that shot thru my house last weekend! Otherwise I'd STILL be sitting in utter disappointment at how HUGE I still was (and shut up don't tell me, "well, you just had a baby" cuz I know from the 1st time that there should have been some kind of change immediately). I am now, 236 and loosing daily. 3 pounds off of my starting pregnancy weight. My secret? Well, read the paragraph above again, and add in breast feeding. 3 amazing things happen when you breast feed... 1) your tits get HUGE, which makes your waist look teeny! 2) it's a workout in every feeding, it takes actual calories to feed that little critter sucking the life out of you, it makes you WAY thirsty for water too, 3) it can and often does, give you the major sweats when you aren't doing it... another workout. So yes, I will admit a lot of weight loss is liquid. But I put it back in, usually WHILE I am doing it. It's hard not to go backwards at this point, breast feeding is taxing, and it makes me ninja hungry... Ninja Hungry (n); when one is considering eating, is concisely not hungry, or not that hungry and yet finds out that they not only cant stop eating, but that they were in fact hungrier than they ever considered that they might be. The other thing that's irritating... I cant do much at all. I need to walk, but a long shopping trip leaves me in pain, and I cant walk fast. I cant lift anything heavier than the baby, I cant bend over to get little things I've dropped, or (if I wore shoes instead of flip flops) tie my shoes. So no working out until the proper healing time (approx. 6 weeks) has passed. And when I sit for a little while, I feel like I am capable of climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, but once I laboriously stand... game over, I'm gonna walk the 15 feet to whatever my destination is, repeat it back to my origination and rest another hour. My belly is starting to regain muscle control and some feeling (yes I have numbness still, and was informed that it may not come back, ever). But not shape... and don't get me wrong, I've never had a flat tummy, not even as a svelte teen. It's always been a case of dun lap syndrome to varying degrees (my belly dun-lapped over my belt). But it is now hanging lower than it ever did, has no shape, and looks a lot like a malformed sausage or overfilled bag of ground beef. That, I can wait to slowly work out with time, but man, I thought I had seen my body in a disgusting way when I was 277lbs, HA! I am officially more disgusted. In the end, this is, or should be one of many blogs to come as I get back on the horse. I am saying now, I will be here more often, but not everyday, not yet. I am still not on the program, but I am slowly getting there... what do you want from me it's been 11 days since I gave birth! I don't even sleep thru the night anymore LOL!