Hell Week

SO I have been slacking off, my waste line has proven that.

This week I am gonna try 7 days of disciplined, hardcore diet and exercise. I get to start going back to the gym, but I am gonna try and do in between 15-60 min workouts.

If I can get thru this week, there is hope for me sticking to the goods for the next month.

My mother and sister are going to be visiting all of July. I am excited, but worried. The food issue is not an issue, I will have no problem sticking to a good diet. As a matter of fact, I am their leading example, and they don't drag me down or become my cohorts for badness (unlike my husband). It's the working out that'll be rough. Firstly, my mother will have her personal schedule, she'll have daily goals I need to work around (I know that makes her sound bad, but it's always been that way, and I can work around her with no issue). Upside I can drag my sister with me to workouts... motivation to work out harder than my outta shape 17 yr old sister.

I see a doc tomorrow for a diabetes update (mostly to get my insulin renewed, all outta refills). Hopefully it goes smoothly, I get to break in a new doc, and in my experience with the military... the new doc is never on the same page as the old one and always threatens to undo what progress was made with the other one. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I get a cool doc.

This is so weird... lately I have been dreaming, a lot! This is a good thing, I am having lucid dreams, means I am getting good rest. But the funny thing is most of the dreams are reflecting an emotion I am doing me best to keep down. I think I said it before, I wish I was wanted by more than just my husband, ogled, just to get the attention. It feels nice to know people who aren't in love with you find you sexually attractive, it's an ego boost I have been without for many years.

Now that I am getting my figure back, my face is thinning, etc... it's become a yen for me. A motivator too. I am not aiming to trade up or leave my husband, or screw around. But nothing is better for the self image than some guy making it clear that I am attractive to him. And like I said, it's coming across in my dreams.

Altho- I will admit I get a few more noticeable male looks lately. Except today, well, I was kinda asking for it. I have a sunburn from going swimming the day before yesterday.... and so I am dressing scantily, big boobs, low cut shirt, BRIGHT RED skin... they look... and when they see the tits, they stare. Even my husband noticed this (he was proud as a peacock too). He tried to say that it was cuz I was hot. I said no, it's cuz they could see more of my boobies than most women show.. . I could have been 400 pounds and wearing the same shirt and guys woulda looked anyway... they're guys.

So, hardcore week here I come... self-boot camp for getting back on track.

Less carbs... check
More water... check
Tuesday upper body... check
Thursday all over... check
Sunday lower body... check
Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday... either walk the dog, watch the celebrity fit club video and participate, or go to the pool and move around for an hour (with sunblock this time)... check
Smaller portions... check
Check blood sugar more than 2 times a day (yes, I have been slacking there too)... check

I SOOOOOooo can get-r-done! +235