It's 130am, and I gotta get up at 8 tomorrow for a nonstop day.
Why am I here at the computer instead of in bed you ask? It's called dedication. And maybe part stubborn. I make a commitment, and until it becomes detrimental to me, I stick with it. I know what you're thinking... how can 130am be good?! It's not. But one day like this does not a detriment make. Sounding like Yoda I am. Sorry, strayed there.
Long day too long to think straight.
+239
B- 2 dry waffles
L- Sandwich wrap, just like the other day, but with salami instead of turkey
D- Sushi- bad in disguise. One or two rolls is borderline, sashimi is better... why is it bad you ask? white rice, and lots of it. The average serving of rice is 1/4 cup, and that is masked easily in a sushi roll, one roll can have 1/4-1/2 cup of rice!! How many rolls can YOU eat? I had 2 spicy tuna hand rolls (and our guy doesn't use mayo in the spicy sauce), and one crunch roll, extra bad, had tempura crumbles in it. I will say tho- I didn't order a side of rice like I used to (pre diagnosis) and I didn't get any deep-fried rolls either. I will admit, I need to move to sashimi, no rice there =) just yummy, raw, wriggling fishes.
Been staving off a hellofa headache, need to drink more water... I get to suffer thru another workout tomorrow, wish me luck!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Muse
okay so I didn't get to it last night, it looks like instead of late night blogs, it may be first in the morning blogs.
I just didn't stop yesterday. Farted around till 12, then off to drop off husband back at work, had the car, kid at daycare for 3 hours, workout, get kid, get groceries, put them home, prep dinner so husband can cook, get husband, drop kid and husband off at home, go to work, come home and eat, try to finish paperwork, go get more groceries, put them away (it's already 1130pm), put trash out, feed animals, put kid to bed (ya ya she had a late night), husband wants what? no. By now its after midnight, blood sugar, insulin, crash. No blog, no shower... that's what today is for but not much time either. OH GOD.
+239
B- 1 1/2 eggs and 1 sausage
L- started tanking in the levels, so I got to eat 1/2 an orange with my hotpocket before the workout, so I wouldn't tank during the workout and pass out off my elliptical.
Workout- same ol workout, 20 on the elliptical, 4 reps of 15 at 30 pounds on the crunch machine. The rowing macine is my new Everest, I cant seem to be able to surpass 10 mins without wanting to die. I suppose I can increase by 2 min each time. Stationary bike 20 mins.
I came to an interesting realization while I was there. Firstly, in the row behind and to the left of me when I got on the elliptical, there was a BIG guy, he was way outta shape... he had tig ol' biddies, bigger than mine. And he was struggling. I got on, and never changed my fast pace, but I watched him look at me and step up his game. I don't think it was cuz he thought I was cute either. I am sure he looked at me, saw that I was big like him and I could keep a steady fast pace, so why couldn't he.
I realized that I like being a motivator. But what I want, why I am down on myself all the time, is I want to be a muse. Some one's muse. That beautiful girl on the Chris Isaak music video, no one knows her name, but she's so sexy. The girl you see at the restaurant that you're too afraid to talk to. The one guys think about when... well. I know I am happily married, it's not about straying. I want to be wanted, envied maybe. I think the reason I want it so bad is because I used to have it as a teen, but I was so beat down emotionally I never knew how amazing I looked. I am aware now, so I want it back. I wanna be a muse, someone to admire and inspire. Is that too much to ask for?
D- 2 cheese enchiladas and 1 tbs of refried beans, Happy Cinco de mayo!
I just didn't stop yesterday. Farted around till 12, then off to drop off husband back at work, had the car, kid at daycare for 3 hours, workout, get kid, get groceries, put them home, prep dinner so husband can cook, get husband, drop kid and husband off at home, go to work, come home and eat, try to finish paperwork, go get more groceries, put them away (it's already 1130pm), put trash out, feed animals, put kid to bed (ya ya she had a late night), husband wants what? no. By now its after midnight, blood sugar, insulin, crash. No blog, no shower... that's what today is for but not much time either. OH GOD.
+239
B- 1 1/2 eggs and 1 sausage
L- started tanking in the levels, so I got to eat 1/2 an orange with my hotpocket before the workout, so I wouldn't tank during the workout and pass out off my elliptical.
Workout- same ol workout, 20 on the elliptical, 4 reps of 15 at 30 pounds on the crunch machine. The rowing macine is my new Everest, I cant seem to be able to surpass 10 mins without wanting to die. I suppose I can increase by 2 min each time. Stationary bike 20 mins.
I came to an interesting realization while I was there. Firstly, in the row behind and to the left of me when I got on the elliptical, there was a BIG guy, he was way outta shape... he had tig ol' biddies, bigger than mine. And he was struggling. I got on, and never changed my fast pace, but I watched him look at me and step up his game. I don't think it was cuz he thought I was cute either. I am sure he looked at me, saw that I was big like him and I could keep a steady fast pace, so why couldn't he.
I realized that I like being a motivator. But what I want, why I am down on myself all the time, is I want to be a muse. Some one's muse. That beautiful girl on the Chris Isaak music video, no one knows her name, but she's so sexy. The girl you see at the restaurant that you're too afraid to talk to. The one guys think about when... well. I know I am happily married, it's not about straying. I want to be wanted, envied maybe. I think the reason I want it so bad is because I used to have it as a teen, but I was so beat down emotionally I never knew how amazing I looked. I am aware now, so I want it back. I wanna be a muse, someone to admire and inspire. Is that too much to ask for?
D- 2 cheese enchiladas and 1 tbs of refried beans, Happy Cinco de mayo!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
excuses and pitfalls
I know this is the 2nd blog of the day, but I am trying to get back into the groove of things, so this will be short, more like the beginning stuff... just humor me, kay?
I had an intriguing conversation with my mother. I don't discuss weight loss with her, because about the time I was hearing her complain about her issues with loosing her gallbladder, I decided that her views weren't completely 20/20, in that she was kidding herself about her diet.
(and if you're reading this mom, and are offended, I apologise)
She'd tell me that her diet was full of veggies and fish, all the while gobbing on cream cheese to a bagel. I will admit her diet didn't suck, but there were places she could trim the fat, as it were.
I digress.
We were chatting about weight loss and I heard a common excuse about walking. "I know my neighborhood, I have seen it often, walking it is boring, the same old things to look at". That one I could ignore. Not walking the neighborhood is an easy thing to excuse yourself out of. "It's too hot/cold/windy/wet/boring/full of hoodlums/etc." I said, I go to the gym because it's free (military benefit) and it gets me away from the baby and since I am out and away from my comfort zone it removes the excuses. You need to find a place you like to be, that's easy to get to, and easy to be at.
Some people have gym excuses too, I did in the beginning... "they're judging me". That's a big one. I almost fell for it. But I scoped out the gym at a couple of different times during the day. Yes, it's full of hard-bodied military men (*blush*), but it also has old retirees, and people working thru injuries, pregnant women, and please forgive my candidness... heifers struggling thru their workouts too. So I knew I wouldn't be the only heifer there sweating and making the people who work at the gym hang out by the aed machine "just in case". Knowing I wasn't alone made it easier to get it done. I find now, that I go when it's less populated (not liking to share my usual machines with others or even have competition to get on it), and it makes it much easier to focus, which I have to do, so I can push past my initial response to quit.
She did admit... "if I had someone to work out with me, to call me up and tell me to get off my ass and come walk with them..." but I cut her off. I had a friend, a wonderful motivated friend, my best friend actually. Perky, excited, motivated, insistant. I started to avoid her. Which inevitably anyone would do. You have to be self motivated. Truly truly want to do it. No one else can push, prod, tug, pull, ootch, harry or harrass you into wanting to get off your ass, unless you wanted to already.
She had another excuse that I hear a lot from her... "I have no time, I work". BAD BAD BAD BAD. I said to her, I told myself that I was no longer going to let a job, ANY job, make me compromise myself, my family or my health. EVER.
Too many years of letting bosses make me feel like they owned me made me not care anymore. Fire me, I could give a crap less. I don't NEED this job, there are others out there. What I NEED is to live to see my daughter graduate, get married, have babies. And working in a place that makes it impossible to find the time to eat right, exercise and care for myself in general, or makes me see my family less than I see vacation time, UNACCEPTABLE. Don't get me wrong, money is nice... but what fun is money when the people you love are mad at you and don't wanna be with you to spend it, or worse, you're too sick to enjoy it.
I know those words are easy to say coming from someone who doesn't have to work to support a family.
But take a minute and ask yourself, a) what's more important, and b) what are you willing to sacrifice to your job?
I am starting to fall into the job trap. This week has been a mess. Did I cook dinner tonight? Nope. Bad. Did I eat dinner at a good time? Nope. BAD. Did I get my insulin on time? Nope. BAD BAD BAD. Why??? I had to work. *smacks self on back of the hand*
So, goal this week... find a rhythm, make it work.
+240
B- yogurt and late too... back to making eggs tomorrow!
L- Yummy yummy, smoked turkey, spinach, mozzarella, red onion, Dijon mustard, a little sprinkle of Caesar vinaigrette in a sun dried tomato wrap. SO GOOD!! I can do better tho- more veggies tomorrow, like shredded carrot or cucumber.
D- good lunch gone to crap. #10. 10 piece chicken nugget and a reg. fry at 9pm!! Ate it all too- and 3 bites of my husband's 2nd burger (I wasn't as bad as SOMEONE at the table at least).
I get to work out tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it... YAY!!
I had an intriguing conversation with my mother. I don't discuss weight loss with her, because about the time I was hearing her complain about her issues with loosing her gallbladder, I decided that her views weren't completely 20/20, in that she was kidding herself about her diet.
(and if you're reading this mom, and are offended, I apologise)
She'd tell me that her diet was full of veggies and fish, all the while gobbing on cream cheese to a bagel. I will admit her diet didn't suck, but there were places she could trim the fat, as it were.
I digress.
We were chatting about weight loss and I heard a common excuse about walking. "I know my neighborhood, I have seen it often, walking it is boring, the same old things to look at". That one I could ignore. Not walking the neighborhood is an easy thing to excuse yourself out of. "It's too hot/cold/windy/wet/boring/full of hoodlums/etc." I said, I go to the gym because it's free (military benefit) and it gets me away from the baby and since I am out and away from my comfort zone it removes the excuses. You need to find a place you like to be, that's easy to get to, and easy to be at.
Some people have gym excuses too, I did in the beginning... "they're judging me". That's a big one. I almost fell for it. But I scoped out the gym at a couple of different times during the day. Yes, it's full of hard-bodied military men (*blush*), but it also has old retirees, and people working thru injuries, pregnant women, and please forgive my candidness... heifers struggling thru their workouts too. So I knew I wouldn't be the only heifer there sweating and making the people who work at the gym hang out by the aed machine "just in case". Knowing I wasn't alone made it easier to get it done. I find now, that I go when it's less populated (not liking to share my usual machines with others or even have competition to get on it), and it makes it much easier to focus, which I have to do, so I can push past my initial response to quit.
She did admit... "if I had someone to work out with me, to call me up and tell me to get off my ass and come walk with them..." but I cut her off. I had a friend, a wonderful motivated friend, my best friend actually. Perky, excited, motivated, insistant. I started to avoid her. Which inevitably anyone would do. You have to be self motivated. Truly truly want to do it. No one else can push, prod, tug, pull, ootch, harry or harrass you into wanting to get off your ass, unless you wanted to already.
She had another excuse that I hear a lot from her... "I have no time, I work". BAD BAD BAD BAD. I said to her, I told myself that I was no longer going to let a job, ANY job, make me compromise myself, my family or my health. EVER.
Too many years of letting bosses make me feel like they owned me made me not care anymore. Fire me, I could give a crap less. I don't NEED this job, there are others out there. What I NEED is to live to see my daughter graduate, get married, have babies. And working in a place that makes it impossible to find the time to eat right, exercise and care for myself in general, or makes me see my family less than I see vacation time, UNACCEPTABLE. Don't get me wrong, money is nice... but what fun is money when the people you love are mad at you and don't wanna be with you to spend it, or worse, you're too sick to enjoy it.
I know those words are easy to say coming from someone who doesn't have to work to support a family.
But take a minute and ask yourself, a) what's more important, and b) what are you willing to sacrifice to your job?
I am starting to fall into the job trap. This week has been a mess. Did I cook dinner tonight? Nope. Bad. Did I eat dinner at a good time? Nope. BAD. Did I get my insulin on time? Nope. BAD BAD BAD. Why??? I had to work. *smacks self on back of the hand*
So, goal this week... find a rhythm, make it work.
+240
B- yogurt and late too... back to making eggs tomorrow!
L- Yummy yummy, smoked turkey, spinach, mozzarella, red onion, Dijon mustard, a little sprinkle of Caesar vinaigrette in a sun dried tomato wrap. SO GOOD!! I can do better tho- more veggies tomorrow, like shredded carrot or cucumber.
D- good lunch gone to crap. #10. 10 piece chicken nugget and a reg. fry at 9pm!! Ate it all too- and 3 bites of my husband's 2nd burger (I wasn't as bad as SOMEONE at the table at least).
I get to work out tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it... YAY!!
What a mess
We finally get the large sum of money the government refunds new home buyers, and my organized life turns upside down. Not to mention the new job started last week too- WHAT A MESS!!
Last week I was too busy to cook, so my husband was in charge HA! He refuses to learn to cook, and I know he's not stupid, he KNOWS how, he's just lazy. So since we had the money and I wasn't there to cook... out to eat we went. ARGH. Now it becomes a choice of a $12 salad at a sit down meal or blowing it all on a #3 at mc d's (q-pounder w/cheese, extra onions NO don't super size it, OMG I cant believe I ate it all, french fries included *smacks self in the forehead*) for $4.
LUCKILY I am bouncing between 238 and 241 and I only saw 241 once.
But wait the plot thickens.
Car broke down Saturday. It's in the shop till possibly Thursday. We rented a car yesterday to get us thru... Sunday, no gym for me. Monday, no work for me. Tuesday, no gym for me... possibly no work either seeing as the army has found a way to dedicate more of my family's time with some mandatory meeting from 6pm till they're done. I won't be attending, I maintain that they cannot mandate a civilian, however they can a soldier. So now I am panicking because my in order to keep my job I have to pull 20 hours a week... they want results to boot. Monday-Friday my availability is limited to after 5pm and no later than 8pm (I go to people's houses any later than that is kinda bad form). I am limited to 8 hours in a day, PERIOD. I have already lost Monday, if I loose Tuesday I may not make 20 hours, seeing as the workweek ends Saturday.
Oh yeah, and I get to loose my job anyway, seeing as my husband is getting sent out to the field for a few weeks this month. Thanks US ARMY!! Move me away from help, limit my job availability AND give me childcare that is not only expensive but limited to 3 days a week 4 hours in a day. WOO HOO!!
I am putting the baby in childcare 2 hours on Wed and Fri to be able to work out. I will be working out during "church hours" on Sunday so I can work, and actually catch people at home.
By the way I am working the census, just so you're not scratching your head in wonder.
Threw a little guilt money at my weight loss program this week- wal mart is selling a workout clothing brand called danskin. LOVE IT. Thin, movable, cotton, cool colors, makes me feel sexy, 2 lengths of shorts, capris, tank tops, pants, t shirts, muscle shirts, and hoodies. There are tons of choices, and no one piece costs more that $15, most cost $7 (it's wal mart so prices may vary depending on your neighborhood). AND the sizes go from, "you don't need to work out" (xs, petite) to "OH GOD, GO TO THE GYM" (5x). Glad to have bottoms that I don't gotta hitch up every time I move.
My sugars are finally getting lower since Istarted the split insulin program. I take long-acting insulin, and it was when I go to bed. But the dose was so high, we decided to split it 1/2 morning 1/2 night, every 12 hours. So I was a little whacked out the last 2 weeks or so, but normality is setting in now. YAY!
I can see my waist thinning out, slowly, and my face is starting to get shapely again, rather than that weird, round, Persian cat, pancake face thing I was seeing in photos of myself. Maybe you don't notice it, but I sure as hell do. My husband has even suggested (and I am trying for him) moving to a more alluring type of undergarment... let's just say my panties and guitars have something in common. The best part is, I don't have to order them online or go to lane bryant to get them. Yes I am still on the high end of the size spectrum, 8's in panties, 2x in workout bottoms, 1x in workout tops (damn these boobs). BUT- WOO HOO I can shop in the normal average people's section. Cant wait till I can shop at old navy in person rather than online (size 18 and up is considered PLUS, and that's only available online).
In the meantime, I am home, we have groceries so I can eat better. I feel better. I am just missing the gym and wishing things weren't so damn complicated. ARGH!!
Last week I was too busy to cook, so my husband was in charge HA! He refuses to learn to cook, and I know he's not stupid, he KNOWS how, he's just lazy. So since we had the money and I wasn't there to cook... out to eat we went. ARGH. Now it becomes a choice of a $12 salad at a sit down meal or blowing it all on a #3 at mc d's (q-pounder w/cheese, extra onions NO don't super size it, OMG I cant believe I ate it all, french fries included *smacks self in the forehead*) for $4.
LUCKILY I am bouncing between 238 and 241 and I only saw 241 once.
But wait the plot thickens.
Car broke down Saturday. It's in the shop till possibly Thursday. We rented a car yesterday to get us thru... Sunday, no gym for me. Monday, no work for me. Tuesday, no gym for me... possibly no work either seeing as the army has found a way to dedicate more of my family's time with some mandatory meeting from 6pm till they're done. I won't be attending, I maintain that they cannot mandate a civilian, however they can a soldier. So now I am panicking because my in order to keep my job I have to pull 20 hours a week... they want results to boot. Monday-Friday my availability is limited to after 5pm and no later than 8pm (I go to people's houses any later than that is kinda bad form). I am limited to 8 hours in a day, PERIOD. I have already lost Monday, if I loose Tuesday I may not make 20 hours, seeing as the workweek ends Saturday.
Oh yeah, and I get to loose my job anyway, seeing as my husband is getting sent out to the field for a few weeks this month. Thanks US ARMY!! Move me away from help, limit my job availability AND give me childcare that is not only expensive but limited to 3 days a week 4 hours in a day. WOO HOO!!
I am putting the baby in childcare 2 hours on Wed and Fri to be able to work out. I will be working out during "church hours" on Sunday so I can work, and actually catch people at home.
By the way I am working the census, just so you're not scratching your head in wonder.
Threw a little guilt money at my weight loss program this week- wal mart is selling a workout clothing brand called danskin. LOVE IT. Thin, movable, cotton, cool colors, makes me feel sexy, 2 lengths of shorts, capris, tank tops, pants, t shirts, muscle shirts, and hoodies. There are tons of choices, and no one piece costs more that $15, most cost $7 (it's wal mart so prices may vary depending on your neighborhood). AND the sizes go from, "you don't need to work out" (xs, petite) to "OH GOD, GO TO THE GYM" (5x). Glad to have bottoms that I don't gotta hitch up every time I move.
My sugars are finally getting lower since Istarted the split insulin program. I take long-acting insulin, and it was when I go to bed. But the dose was so high, we decided to split it 1/2 morning 1/2 night, every 12 hours. So I was a little whacked out the last 2 weeks or so, but normality is setting in now. YAY!
I can see my waist thinning out, slowly, and my face is starting to get shapely again, rather than that weird, round, Persian cat, pancake face thing I was seeing in photos of myself. Maybe you don't notice it, but I sure as hell do. My husband has even suggested (and I am trying for him) moving to a more alluring type of undergarment... let's just say my panties and guitars have something in common. The best part is, I don't have to order them online or go to lane bryant to get them. Yes I am still on the high end of the size spectrum, 8's in panties, 2x in workout bottoms, 1x in workout tops (damn these boobs). BUT- WOO HOO I can shop in the normal average people's section. Cant wait till I can shop at old navy in person rather than online (size 18 and up is considered PLUS, and that's only available online).
In the meantime, I am home, we have groceries so I can eat better. I feel better. I am just missing the gym and wishing things weren't so damn complicated. ARGH!!
Friday, April 30, 2010
A quickie
Sorry about yesterday. Now that I am working and working out, sometimes I have to trade in sleep for blogging, or sleep for movie watching or sleep for knitting, or sleep for anything that's essentially filling up my free time, because, let's face it, I don't have any free time. Or at least I didn't yesterday.
Let me assure you of this; Thursday I behaved when I ate, I worked out even tho I really really REALLY didn't wanna. I didn't change my workout at all, other than keeping it slow and steady just to make it thru.
Today I got to put on the little black dress, and go out on a date! The base has a short term child care program that has parent's night out once a month. We pay $17 for them to keep her for 4 hours. So out we went. Upscale restaurant. I avoided the dessert area, ordered fish, ate 1/2 the serving of potatoes they served, avoided the corn machoux they served as a "vegetable" (corn's all starch, I wont play, my choice was EITHER corn OR potatoes).
After our fancy dinner we picked up the kid and ht wal mart before home. Usually I am mortified to not blend in. Little black dress, high heels, wal mart?!?
I was expecting some negative attention. There are 3 ways you know you look foolish, 1) the giggles (usually teens and 20 somethings do this) 2) the dirty looks/eye rolling (the 30-40 year olds do this) 3) the uncomfortable "you caught me looking at you" smile (mature people anywhere from 25 and up). Nothing. Not one. No positive attention either, no double takes from men, no compliments. So either I looked okay, or I had immunity since I was with my dressed up husband and child. Or maybe they thought I was pregnant (eek).
I wont go into detail about today, I am tired. I will say I was 239 this morning. And confident that wont change for the worse tomorrow. Had a salad lunch, so here's for keeping up higher standards tomorrow.
Let me assure you of this; Thursday I behaved when I ate, I worked out even tho I really really REALLY didn't wanna. I didn't change my workout at all, other than keeping it slow and steady just to make it thru.
Today I got to put on the little black dress, and go out on a date! The base has a short term child care program that has parent's night out once a month. We pay $17 for them to keep her for 4 hours. So out we went. Upscale restaurant. I avoided the dessert area, ordered fish, ate 1/2 the serving of potatoes they served, avoided the corn machoux they served as a "vegetable" (corn's all starch, I wont play, my choice was EITHER corn OR potatoes).
After our fancy dinner we picked up the kid and ht wal mart before home. Usually I am mortified to not blend in. Little black dress, high heels, wal mart?!?
I was expecting some negative attention. There are 3 ways you know you look foolish, 1) the giggles (usually teens and 20 somethings do this) 2) the dirty looks/eye rolling (the 30-40 year olds do this) 3) the uncomfortable "you caught me looking at you" smile (mature people anywhere from 25 and up). Nothing. Not one. No positive attention either, no double takes from men, no compliments. So either I looked okay, or I had immunity since I was with my dressed up husband and child. Or maybe they thought I was pregnant (eek).
I wont go into detail about today, I am tired. I will say I was 239 this morning. And confident that wont change for the worse tomorrow. Had a salad lunch, so here's for keeping up higher standards tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Do I have to wake up tomorrow?
Long day today. Another trainig session, equally as exciting as yesterday. Not as hungry, but I did get smart and stop for a big ol diet drink to nurse and help me stay awake (and pee my brains out). I'd say I felt badly that it wasnt water, but it was quick, it was cheap and it was easy. So sue me.
Admittedly, I am actually dreading tomorrow. I am so tired already and tomorrow is thursday. This is the 1st time I am not looking forward to working out. I feel a little ashamed. This 3 workouts weekly will take a little getting used to, but I'll get there. In the meantime, can someone lend me a cup of energy, I seem to be running out.
+??? (actually forgot to step on the scale this morning)
B- yogurt
L- 1/4 Muffaletta minus some of the bread... a Muffaletta is a salty yummy sandwich indigenous to New Orleans, but some New Orlenean's are up here and cooking =) Italian sesame bread roll, a whole one is bigger than your head! Itlaian meats, provalone, and a tart green olive relish, YUMMY YUMMY. As far as calories and badness, it has the potential to be pretty bad. But eat 1/4 and you're on the fringes, like I said I ate 1/4 and tore off any bread that was just bread. So it may have been about 2/3 of the 1/4 (is your head hurting from the math yet?)
D- We got our tax refund... sushi. I make no apologies for sushi, it's a relativly good meal, aside from the sushi rice. All bets are off when I hit a sushi joint, and it's a rare occasion. 3 rolls (shoulda had 2); spicy tuna (that's okay), crunch roll (that's not so good, had tempura crumbles in it) and an acadiana roll (louisiana construct, it's a california roll, but instead of crab it's crawfish!)
I was fine and good with what we had until about 2 hours ago- the sonic monster came out. But I had something smaller, a $1 menue sunday with a lil bit of chocolate sauce. I would wager that it was a trifle better than an oreo blast, but please, if I thought for 1/2 an instant that it was completely better i'd be kidding myself.
No excuses today, my eating SUCKED. Salad tomorrow anyone?
Admittedly, I am actually dreading tomorrow. I am so tired already and tomorrow is thursday. This is the 1st time I am not looking forward to working out. I feel a little ashamed. This 3 workouts weekly will take a little getting used to, but I'll get there. In the meantime, can someone lend me a cup of energy, I seem to be running out.
+??? (actually forgot to step on the scale this morning)
B- yogurt
L- 1/4 Muffaletta minus some of the bread... a Muffaletta is a salty yummy sandwich indigenous to New Orleans, but some New Orlenean's are up here and cooking =) Italian sesame bread roll, a whole one is bigger than your head! Itlaian meats, provalone, and a tart green olive relish, YUMMY YUMMY. As far as calories and badness, it has the potential to be pretty bad. But eat 1/4 and you're on the fringes, like I said I ate 1/4 and tore off any bread that was just bread. So it may have been about 2/3 of the 1/4 (is your head hurting from the math yet?)
D- We got our tax refund... sushi. I make no apologies for sushi, it's a relativly good meal, aside from the sushi rice. All bets are off when I hit a sushi joint, and it's a rare occasion. 3 rolls (shoulda had 2); spicy tuna (that's okay), crunch roll (that's not so good, had tempura crumbles in it) and an acadiana roll (louisiana construct, it's a california roll, but instead of crab it's crawfish!)
I was fine and good with what we had until about 2 hours ago- the sonic monster came out. But I had something smaller, a $1 menue sunday with a lil bit of chocolate sauce. I would wager that it was a trifle better than an oreo blast, but please, if I thought for 1/2 an instant that it was completely better i'd be kidding myself.
No excuses today, my eating SUCKED. Salad tomorrow anyone?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
just on the verge of loosing out, the winner comes thru!
Good long day.
Job training is about as exciting as watching a snail race a starfish. But an interesting fact, it keeps me away from the fridge at home... however, it keeps me much closer to my real enemies... drive thru! I didn't have the car, nor will I have it tomorrow. So my laziness (and the fact that I didn't wanna walk that far in heels) keeps me from over-indulging.
At the end of the day I wanna curl up and vegetate. It's the good kind of tired, but tired just the same.
+240 (yep still there- bastard)
B- yogurt, I was in a hurry and I woke up with nasty heartburn. It was either yogurt or pepto, I was burping acid. Not sure if it's the workout having a minor affect on a minor herniated something or rather I was diagnosed with a while back (damage from the many dives down my throat to add or subtract stints, shunts whatever you wanna call it, for my common bile duct blockage after the gallbladder removal- very long and scary story). They tossed drugs at me I never took cuz I never had heartburn, now I get it very very rarely.
L- in sailed Paul to pick me up, he chose mcdonalds, and after the 1st hour in snoozefest job training I was munchie, then hungry, then starving. So lunch was a naughty time. quarter pounder with cheese, and if I stopped we'd be good.... but I ate about 2/3 of my regular sized fries. The nutritionist did tell me, if I was gonna mess up, do it early, so I had a chance to work it off later in the day. Bad, not HORRIBLE.
WORKOUT DAY- I know, the mind boggles, a full day of sitting on my ass filling out paperwork, then this?!?! This was the new added day. I think I might have pushed it. New day, should have kept the normal workout, but I was planning on adjusting some times on each machine, more challenges in different places... but I was stupid for implementing it today of all days.
20 mins on the elliptical (1 1/2 miles) kept a good fast pace too!
4 reps of 15-18 (was getting distracted and loosing count, when I heard myself say 18, I stopped) at 30-45 pounds (just couldn't find a set weight I wanted to stick at) on the crunch machiene. And I started to get a cramp in my diaphragm area, felt like a ball rolling down my middle, or like that bellydancing move where they suck in and blow out making it look like their tummy was dancing, only this was involuntary. Every time it hit, I'd stop, breathe deep and stretch. Then lower the weight.
I wanted to work on my back fat, but the twisty machine was seat-less and had an out of order sign on it... bastards.
Attempted 20 mins on the rowing machine... got to 10 and said, less is more, work to 15, and my body said... NO So I stopped at 10 (at least it wasnt less than usual, just not more).
20 mins on the stationary bike... at 5 mins in, my husband walked in with the baby, KILLED my rhythm and focus... and I heard myself say this- "pant pant I am almost done, was gonna pant pant, do 20, but I couldn't get 20 on the pant pant rower thingy, so I am gonna cut this short at 10 mins instead pant pant pant" He sez okay I am gonna do a thing, and be right back. Then, I got my rhythm back when he left, 10 turned into 15 and 15 into 20!!! Got 4 1/2 miles.
D- there is this place on base called charlies... it's the missing link between subway and quiznos, or like a weird cousin or something. They grill the meat right in front of you and serve you the sandwich. They also have grilled- salads. I told myself, salad. I saw the photo of the chicken chipotle sandwich, and I said... well, I moaned actually, chicken chipotle sandwich. The manager was walking nearby and said "they're good huh?" I said I wished it was a salad, all that bread, so bad. She said, "you want it on a salad? we can do that" YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Chicken chipotle SALAD!! Very very little dressing, ON THE SIDE. They gave me 2 of those little cups of dressing (yuck) and I used 1/3 of one cup.
My sugars were low tonight! YES!! I see a downtrend coming. So long as I keep it up!!
Job training is about as exciting as watching a snail race a starfish. But an interesting fact, it keeps me away from the fridge at home... however, it keeps me much closer to my real enemies... drive thru! I didn't have the car, nor will I have it tomorrow. So my laziness (and the fact that I didn't wanna walk that far in heels) keeps me from over-indulging.
At the end of the day I wanna curl up and vegetate. It's the good kind of tired, but tired just the same.
+240 (yep still there- bastard)
B- yogurt, I was in a hurry and I woke up with nasty heartburn. It was either yogurt or pepto, I was burping acid. Not sure if it's the workout having a minor affect on a minor herniated something or rather I was diagnosed with a while back (damage from the many dives down my throat to add or subtract stints, shunts whatever you wanna call it, for my common bile duct blockage after the gallbladder removal- very long and scary story). They tossed drugs at me I never took cuz I never had heartburn, now I get it very very rarely.
L- in sailed Paul to pick me up, he chose mcdonalds, and after the 1st hour in snoozefest job training I was munchie, then hungry, then starving. So lunch was a naughty time. quarter pounder with cheese, and if I stopped we'd be good.... but I ate about 2/3 of my regular sized fries. The nutritionist did tell me, if I was gonna mess up, do it early, so I had a chance to work it off later in the day. Bad, not HORRIBLE.
WORKOUT DAY- I know, the mind boggles, a full day of sitting on my ass filling out paperwork, then this?!?! This was the new added day. I think I might have pushed it. New day, should have kept the normal workout, but I was planning on adjusting some times on each machine, more challenges in different places... but I was stupid for implementing it today of all days.
20 mins on the elliptical (1 1/2 miles) kept a good fast pace too!
4 reps of 15-18 (was getting distracted and loosing count, when I heard myself say 18, I stopped) at 30-45 pounds (just couldn't find a set weight I wanted to stick at) on the crunch machiene. And I started to get a cramp in my diaphragm area, felt like a ball rolling down my middle, or like that bellydancing move where they suck in and blow out making it look like their tummy was dancing, only this was involuntary. Every time it hit, I'd stop, breathe deep and stretch. Then lower the weight.
I wanted to work on my back fat, but the twisty machine was seat-less and had an out of order sign on it... bastards.
Attempted 20 mins on the rowing machine... got to 10 and said, less is more, work to 15, and my body said... NO So I stopped at 10 (at least it wasnt less than usual, just not more).
20 mins on the stationary bike... at 5 mins in, my husband walked in with the baby, KILLED my rhythm and focus... and I heard myself say this- "pant pant I am almost done, was gonna pant pant, do 20, but I couldn't get 20 on the pant pant rower thingy, so I am gonna cut this short at 10 mins instead pant pant pant" He sez okay I am gonna do a thing, and be right back. Then, I got my rhythm back when he left, 10 turned into 15 and 15 into 20!!! Got 4 1/2 miles.
D- there is this place on base called charlies... it's the missing link between subway and quiznos, or like a weird cousin or something. They grill the meat right in front of you and serve you the sandwich. They also have grilled- salads. I told myself, salad. I saw the photo of the chicken chipotle sandwich, and I said... well, I moaned actually, chicken chipotle sandwich. The manager was walking nearby and said "they're good huh?" I said I wished it was a salad, all that bread, so bad. She said, "you want it on a salad? we can do that" YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Chicken chipotle SALAD!! Very very little dressing, ON THE SIDE. They gave me 2 of those little cups of dressing (yuck) and I used 1/3 of one cup.
My sugars were low tonight! YES!! I see a downtrend coming. So long as I keep it up!!
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